I have so many thoughts about it flying through my brain, but I'm having a hard time getting it into words. I'm going to be a mother. We're going to have a child. Koka and I are going to be parents. It's wonderful, it's scary, it's surreal. But mostly, it's exciting.
I had no idea that it would happen so quickly for us. And honestly, I didn't think it had happened. I was convinced our timing was wrong. I just figured we'd be in for another month or more. I'm beyond thrilled that this happened so quickly. Wow. It's really all I can say.
About a week ago I started to suspect something. I don't think I could pin point what it was, but I just kind of knew. I started craving McDonald's cheeseburgers. (An odd thing for a girl who hasn't eaten beef in years!) I had a flutter in my stomach. I just had a feeling. So of course I started peeing on cheap internet pregnancy tests pretty much halfway through my 2 week wait. Needless to say I got negative after negative after negative. (I think I went through 6 total...)
On Monday night, I took yet another cheap test, waited the 5 minutes for it to season and then threw it away. Negative. Or, wait, was it? I kid you not when I tell you that I went digging through the trash to see if my mind was playing tricks on me. I just couldn't tell. I took pictures of it to see if it would show up on film. (I'll spare you the additional pee stick pictures.) And I just honestly couldn't tell. It seemed like a faulty test, or a fluke.
But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a LITTLE excited. I didn't want to tell Koka and be wrong, so I kept it to myself. I went to bed anxious to wait up and test again.
Tuesday morning another internet cheapie - and another questionable result. I just couldn't believe a line that I had to squint and tilt to see. I had to bring out the big guns. The digital test. Would you believe that flashing on the screen was the symbol stating 'Invalid Test". Yup. I still didn't have an answer!! I left for work, stopped at the drug store to pick up some FRER tests and another digital test.
4 hours later, I got this:
Oh my god.
I ran to the book store to pick up She's Having a Baby - and I'm Having a Breakdown and a super cute daddy card to break the news. And then it was all I could do to not run screaming from my office and head home. I wanted to post here, I wanted to email everyone on the planet. But I had to tell Koka. I had to wait just a little bit longer...
On my way home from work I picked up the McDonald's cheeseburgers that he'd been teasing me about, and armed with fast food and a small gift, I ambushed my husband to tell him the news. I'm sure he had to read the card 3 or 4 times before he really understood what was going on! He just looked up at me with tears in his eyes and threw his arms around me. It was wonderful. I don't think anything in my life can compare with giving him that news.
We're going to be parents!
And for prosperity, here's me, in my lovely pajamas with dirty hair, way too excited to be holding a stick I peed on.